To be honest to myself I must be honest with you...

On this day I sit here and I have concluded that I will not apologize for the way I feel about anything. It is the way I feel. If I deny myself of feeling a way about something what good does that do for all parties? I would rather, from this day on, speak my mind. Carefully that is. I cannot apologize about the way I feel because it is a part of me. So what? Accept me or accept no part.

 i just wish everyone around me would get the picture

Why not you (12/1/10)

Tonight I did what I was told to do a long time ago... I went to a chat room for cancer support... It was awesome and I am glad I did it. SO AWESOME! I thought there was something wrong with me when I got upset when ppl adopt the Why Me mentality. but tonight i found out that i am not the only one that gets set on fire when those words fly out of someones mouth.

Someone said to me "ask Why not them?"

That just made me stop.
Yes what ever you are going through right now is hard and we all know you did not ask for it but what is having the Why Me mentality going to do for you? So Why Not You?

Take it on like you do everyday of your life and deal with it.

That chat room is great... I had ppl to talk to that UNDERSTOOD! ugh..so good

She said...Cancer asks no age...
Just like me she thought she was in the clear and then it came back.... and we both still call it a blessing
I am not saying that i want it again but i would not have life anyother way...i would do it again...because of cancer i and changed indefinately...for the better.

so why not you?
Omg...I don't think anyone knows how happy i am right now! God is Good!

What I realized

I had a problem
I got two scarves
One Purple and One Black
those scarves were for those days when I had something to hide
now i don't look at them...
its like they are no longer in need
cuz i no longer have nothing to hide
Indeed

another thing i realized just now...

I had a problem
I got a head scarf
had 3 wigs
don't know where the scarf is
the wigs are collecting dust
they are no longer a must

<3

Follow up to my GBK pictures

The day I had to talk about him in class I broke down... I was just so happy that I finally acheived what I have been wanting to do for a year. All I wanted to do was make a art piece that told my story and the story of many others.

Everyone asked me what I was going to do with him and I honestly did not know... all I knew was that my mom did not want it in the house (and I was right). I saw a sign (literally) and I think I know what my next step for GBK is... It will take some time

Idk what is going to become of him after my plans but I have a feeling he is not going to say in one place too long.

This piece was my little piece of freedom...


This was my reaction when I first started GBK....

Today in ceramics, i made a gingerbread kid... and then later i gave him cancer

=[ but he is ok! lol but yeah I smiled at him and said "I like you kid" It was weird but freeing... i can dig it

cuz he is me! He is everyone! he is him! lol ok i tried to be serious but it is just not working but yeah.... glad i did it! <3

My Ceramics Gingerbread Kid (my cancer kid)