:)

Over extended

Have you ever felt like you extend yourself in the name of "friendship"? What about other roles you have in your life, such as Daughter, Son, Sister, Brother.....do you ever feel like you would go to the ends of the earth for a person and somehow in the end get short changed?

I have been struggling with this for a while... does anyone really deserve the title "best" friend? What makes them so special? We are all the same at the end of the day. Because, somewhere down the line we share DNA, does that make you family?

What are the qualifications for each title?

Just late night thoughts coming out i guess...good night

Nike Vid

This is a project that I did in class...I just made it about what I know and did not really try to think of a story cuuuz I already had a story... so yes, here it is!

:)

Change

If time keeps going and you remain the same you, when do you progress? When and where does improvement happen? Do you remain? Do you move forward? Do you stay content or do you strive for absolute greatness? When do you take that leap?

At what point do you see that it is time for betterment? At what point do you realize that change needs to be made? How much do you change? Is there a time when you realize that what you are doing is not working? Is everyone around you changing and leaving your life while you continue to live the life that you live?

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

These are just random questions that have come to me.... I just want to know when do people stop thinking they are ALWAYS right and humble themselves? When do they realize that they are the ones that need to change? How many times do they need to be told?

My 1st youtube vid!

http://www.youtube.com/user/kokosun2413?feature=mhum

Can you say AMEN!!??

 Good morning... thought I would come on here and tell you about what made my day at about 6am. I was listening to the news from under the covers and then a story about a woman that was being treated a tumor of some sort you know i had to open my eyes and take it all in. I then realize that it is a woman that i saw a few times at my job. She looked so... idk... i was genuinely concerned about her and went home and told my mom about her. FAST FORWARD to like last month... i see the same girl back in my line to check out. She looked 10 times better and I was so so so happy to see that she was ok. Then i see her on the news today!!! like really?! tried to look for the story on the new website but i can't find it... i really just wanna tell her that i am so happy to see her smiling face on the tv this morning (starting to cry (":) I am do happy that she is ok! I am just happy that she is alive. I really wish i remembered her name so i could find her on facebook and tell her, i just wanna give her a hug! buuuut i guess this note to you all will have to do! :)

I had to shoot God a really loud thank you from way deep down inside of me! Lord THANK YOU for saving her life THANK YOU  for letting me know she is ok. Just ugh guys! I wanna shake someone right now! ugh! ok

I am going back to bed!

 AMEN!!!!

Don't know why...

This is not really anything but I realize that when I write the words cancer or lymphoma I feel the need to capitalize the first letter. Is it because those words name something of is it because those words have been such a big part of my life that I feel like they need to be capitalized? IDK just a random thought....

To be honest to myself I must be honest with you...

On this day I sit here and I have concluded that I will not apologize for the way I feel about anything. It is the way I feel. If I deny myself of feeling a way about something what good does that do for all parties? I would rather, from this day on, speak my mind. Carefully that is. I cannot apologize about the way I feel because it is a part of me. So what? Accept me or accept no part.

 i just wish everyone around me would get the picture

Why not you (12/1/10)

Tonight I did what I was told to do a long time ago... I went to a chat room for cancer support... It was awesome and I am glad I did it. SO AWESOME! I thought there was something wrong with me when I got upset when ppl adopt the Why Me mentality. but tonight i found out that i am not the only one that gets set on fire when those words fly out of someones mouth.

Someone said to me "ask Why not them?"

That just made me stop.
Yes what ever you are going through right now is hard and we all know you did not ask for it but what is having the Why Me mentality going to do for you? So Why Not You?

Take it on like you do everyday of your life and deal with it.

That chat room is great... I had ppl to talk to that UNDERSTOOD! ugh..so good

She said...Cancer asks no age...
Just like me she thought she was in the clear and then it came back.... and we both still call it a blessing
I am not saying that i want it again but i would not have life anyother way...i would do it again...because of cancer i and changed indefinately...for the better.

so why not you?
Omg...I don't think anyone knows how happy i am right now! God is Good!

What I realized

I had a problem
I got two scarves
One Purple and One Black
those scarves were for those days when I had something to hide
now i don't look at them...
its like they are no longer in need
cuz i no longer have nothing to hide
Indeed

another thing i realized just now...

I had a problem
I got a head scarf
had 3 wigs
don't know where the scarf is
the wigs are collecting dust
they are no longer a must

<3

Follow up to my GBK pictures

The day I had to talk about him in class I broke down... I was just so happy that I finally acheived what I have been wanting to do for a year. All I wanted to do was make a art piece that told my story and the story of many others.

Everyone asked me what I was going to do with him and I honestly did not know... all I knew was that my mom did not want it in the house (and I was right). I saw a sign (literally) and I think I know what my next step for GBK is... It will take some time

Idk what is going to become of him after my plans but I have a feeling he is not going to say in one place too long.

This piece was my little piece of freedom...


This was my reaction when I first started GBK....

Today in ceramics, i made a gingerbread kid... and then later i gave him cancer

=[ but he is ok! lol but yeah I smiled at him and said "I like you kid" It was weird but freeing... i can dig it

cuz he is me! He is everyone! he is him! lol ok i tried to be serious but it is just not working but yeah.... glad i did it! <3

My Ceramics Gingerbread Kid (my cancer kid)

When life gives you lemons...

Sometimes my fellow ppl... you face things that you think you will never overcome. But I am here to tell you that trouble don't last always! (That is all I really have to say) It is just that simple...so keep your head up and keep the Faith!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Life and Its stuggles...

Of late it has become really clear to me that there will always be repercussions for your actions... something you do today might not show up tomorrow but it might show up some time later.

Somethings that happen in other ppls life make me not want to live in a worldly mind...or in better words it turns me away from was is so full of sin and turns me towards what is everlasting.

YOUNG PEOPLE... i cannot stress enough... do not do anything that would bring you shame... if it has to be private and no one else can know or you don't want anyone to find out then you should not be doing it...

It just hurts my heart these days when i see young ppl in situations that could have been avoided, if they had only been more careful and not followed what the world tells you.

Why can't we as teenagers just be teens and not try to grow up so fast? why can't we be our age? man... it really make me sad.

Maybe for some of you the events in life might be a blessing... in a sense that you will grow up and wake up! Some of you will be forced to wake up and others will get the oppertunity to start over...

I don't even know.... all I can say is WAKE UP! PLEASE WAKE UP!!!!

I can't name this...

to all the mothers and fathers out there.... if you child tells you that they are not happy at home, what would be the normal response? would one ask why (unprompted) or start listing the places one could go?

to all the mothers and fathers out there... is it not your job to love and nurture your kids or put them down?
make them feel like there is no one left in there corner?

to all the new mothers and fathers out there... the promise you made your child when they could not understand... will you still keep it when they are 19?

to the parents that have been at it for a while... do you resent your child? do they resent you? do you make life a living hell?

to anyone that identifies with this.... do you feel like somone has it out for you?

all of this floods to me...cuz on earth i got no emotional help(from the ones that should have my back)... OH BUT I HAVE MY HELP! this is the one time that i can honestly say that what i wanna do for the next two years is very clear to me... Thank you Lord i am still alive and what was the worst so far is behind me. sometime a chick just gotta fly....

Today I cried for you...

Of late I have been in the Christmas mood so that is all that is playin in my car....I'll Be Home For Christmas came on and so did the waterworks.

"Christmas Eve will find you, where the love light gleams, I'll be home for Christmas, If only in my dreams" that line it was all it took...
Flashback to Christmas Eve 2008...

When I got a call from my dad somehow I never expected to EVER come. My auntie(antie) Seita had passed...

Feel guilty cuz it is easy to forget...(hard for me to even go on right now cuz I am over here crying my eyes out)
Loved her so much... so many things I learned from her and so many good times... and now they are all memories.(I am so glad i got to see her twice before then. How I felt will always stay with me...)

That Christmas of 2008 She was home for Christmas. That got me thinking... where is your home? Where is your final resting place?

From Sunday death has been on my mind...It is a part of life and no one person can run from it. Sad but true.

So often we make plans for tomorrow and tomorrow is not promised.

All I know is that Christmas Eve, Christmas, anyday....you can find Alseita Aldridge in my heart...Where the love light gleams

I have no gift to bring, thats fit to give our King (Little Drummer Boy)

 Ok i am taking the Chirstmas thing a little too far now i guess but i had ANOTHER moment listening to Little Drummer Boy! Have you really listened to the words?!
 "Little Baby..I am a poor boy too... I have no gift to bring...Thats fit to give our King..."

 Whaaaaat?! I just had to stop it am play it again!

(felt bad that he felt this way... but often we walk around saying the same thing)

Then i thought... Are there times when you feel like the work you do for the Lord will never be enough?
What talent has he blessedyou with? Do you use it to honor him?

"Mary nodded...Ox and lamb kept time...I played my drum for him...I played my best for him...Then he smiled at me..." 

Just last week i was SO ready to give up and change my major and that very same day i was reminded what i was there for...
Do you get caugt up? Forget what the struggle is all for?

Just remember that you were sent here for a reason... everyone's mission is different

As long as you "play for him", "play your best for him"... He will smile upon you :) :)

The Church Bells

everyday when i get here i hear police sirens and ambulances and after a while i got use to them...then there was one day when i realized that church bells ring out over this campus too... idk where the church is and that does not matter... at those moments when the bells ring it is still and quiet... that is all that matters... everything stops and i can hear nothing else but the bells. today a song played... i did not know it but i hummed along anyway cuz i guess i did down in my heart 

the church bells are so much louder and much more haunting than the constant sounds of trouble that circle this campus everyday. when i hear the sirens i feel nothing but when the first church bell rings i am aware.

could it be that the church bells are a greater warning?

Just for me? or for all? are there some that do not hear?


-just something to think about...

understanding

Ok I know as a young Christian teen I should read my Bible lots more and I am working on it but not actively working on it. This morning I got up and I google... and this is what I came up with...

My Google Search...Parents don't provoke your children

Ephesians 6:4 (look it up!)

I try on a regular basis not to be bitter and upset at ppl in my life but after a while what can one do? And all this made me realized that I have just stopped.... I have stopped fighting back... I have stopped yelling... why? Cuz it does not help anything and sad to say I have already made up my mind... i love them but there will have to be a separation at some point...

Peaceful

Why I rep lime green...

I rep lime green cuz I have no choice
See...I am a voice
Lime green was introduced to me in a very tragic way...
and sad to say, it is here to stay
Lime green will claim many lives and touch many others
Friends, sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers...
Lime green is not often talked about...
and that makes me want to shout
"Can't you see what is going on inside of me!?" "Us?"
...
Quietly... it overtakes
One by one, how much more can we all take
The story of many, untold...
and in my hand life I hold
To make a difference is my goal
Step by step...here we go!